Here’s one my mother used to sing around the house, “Your Love Ran Down My Leg and Now, You’re Gone”. Entertainment venues. TGI Fridays! Nothing happened- oh, wait… got a little cramp in my leg… and my balls hurt… plus, I’m blind… I’m bli- oh, now I’m okay again… must’ve been Joe Pesci huh? You miserable, no-good, fucking consumer asshole!”. And speaking of my colon, I want you to know I don’t automatically wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom okay? Now I have seen a few snappers in my day, never seen one that’ll cut grass! I think people would drink a lot more liquor if they thought it was Wednesday all the time. You know what I think it is? Yes, I understand toward the end of the show, they had to bleep out a lot of screaming and foul language. And here’s something else, another problem you might have… suppose your prayers aren’t answered, what do you say? Has everybody lost their fucking mind in this country? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Don’t you just wanna puke in your soup when one of these fat, balding, overweight, overaged, out of shape, middle aged, male movie stars with sunglasses jumps onstage and starts blowing into a harmonica? Stop pretending to be black! When a businessman sits down and negotiates a deal, the first thing he does is to automatically assume that the other guy is a complete lying prick who’s trying to fuck him out of his money! George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. I liked this bit because I would think it was flawless, and if you like George the way I do you MUST SEE “You Are All Diseased” in a good quality. Then, later on tonight on the Nostalgia channel, they’re gonna play back to back two of my favourite episodes of “Little House on the Prairie”, first of all, the 1975 Christmas show “A Douchebag for Clara”. “The Sleep n’ Fuck” motel; get me one of them big neon signs, “Sleep… Fuck… Sleep n’ Fuck!” You put it right at the Jersey entrance to the Holland tunnel you know? We swam in raw sewage! Budget-Revenue-Keywords. Besides, even if they made all of the airplanes completely safe, the terrorists would simply start bombing other places that are crowded; porn shops, crack houses, titty bars, and gangbangs. Nature should be allowed to do its job of killing off the weak and sickly and ignorant people without interference from airbags and batting helmets! What, are you gonna read People’s Magazine and eat at Wendy’s till the end of time? Bye Bye! Stage banter takes on a different — deeper — meaning as the comedian performs online shows to homebound viewers worldwide from his Mumbai residence. So he’s gotta do everything he can to fuck the other guy a little bit faster and a little bit harder… and he’s gotta do it with a big smile on his face. How about a bomb anecdote? You Are All Diseased is the 16th album and 11th HBO live broadcast stand-up special by comedian George Carlin, recorded on February 6, 1999 at the Beacon Theater in New York City. Nominated for 2 Primetime Emmys. What did Clinton say? He always needs money! I’m thinking of opening up a motel and calling it “The Sleep n’ Fuck”. Genres: Stand-up Comedy. phenomenon, Bo Burnham, brings you his first one-hour stand-up special “Bo Burnham: Words, Words, Words” from the House of Blues in Boston. But now, now “snapper” means any kind of pussy and they’ve named a lawn mower company after it! To me, that counts. Stand-up Comedy Torrents blog is the place you can find all existing stand-up comedy HBO Specials, Comedy Central Presents - CCP or video bootlegs that are available for free download.All qualities: xvid, dvdrip, cam, audio - mp3 or pdf. Okay? And I think Americans really show their ignorance when they say they want their politicians to be honest. Open All Night! Well, they don’t want you to get an infection! Joe Pesci. See? You know that big, bullshit, businessman smile? I obstruct! What’s happening is- what’s happening, you know what it is? A snappin’ pussy! Brutally honest Carlin. At least he’s honest.” At least he’s honest about being completely full of shit. It might take you a couple of minutes you know… especially if he’s hefty huh? They whip out their weapons; they wax the motherfucker and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon! Haven’t found anything yet! I’m completely full of shit and how do you like that?” and the people said “You know something? There are a couple of terms being used a lot these days by guilty white liberals.